


Just Me (but not really)

by donttouchtheneednoggle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Everyone knows about Merlin's magic, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Leon (implied), Immortal Merlin (implied), Nightmares, Survivor Guilt, incorrect, oh you thought leon was the only knight whose story didn't break your heart?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donttouchtheneednoggle/pseuds/donttouchtheneednoggle
Summary: They will be best friends for all eternity and everything will be FINE ;-;Comments and kudos appreciated <3Come hang out ontumblr!
Relationships: Leon & Merlin (Merlin)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 58





	Just Me (but not really)

Merlin was torn from his peaceful sleep by a panicked, desperate screaming: “Fall back, FALL BACK!”

“ _Leoht_!” he said quickly, conjuring a ball of light. He frantically scanned the moonlit clearing for the inevitable marauding army but saw only Leon, sitting bolt upright, wide eyed and trembling.

“Leon!” he shouted, scrambling over to him. “Leon, what’s wrong?”

“There are too many of them!” The knight choked. “Too many... everyone… dead.”

“Leon, its ok!” Merlin said, catching hold of his face in his hands. “It’s ok, you’re here, you’re safe. Focus on me.”

The knight’s wild eyes found his. “Merlin-“ he whispered.

“It’s ok,” Merlin soothed. “It’s ok, it was just a dream.”

He glanced behind him at rest of the Greatest Knights In All The Realm, still sprawled out fast asleep. Typical.

Leon was still shaking.

“I-“ he blinked hard as if trying to clear his head. Then he seemed to manage it and his face reddened. “I- fell asleep on watch is all. I- it’s nothing, Merlin, I’m sorry to have woken you.”

His voice was forcefully casual, but he spoke through gritted teeth and Merlin could still see his hands trembling.

“It’s not though, is it?” he said gently. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Leon shook his head, avoiding his gaze. “It’s nothing,” he insisted.

_“Leon.”_

“What!” he snapped. “Stop treating me like a coward!”

Merlin flinched and Leon immediately looked remorseful. “I’m sorry Merlin, I-“

He collapsed forward and buried his face in his hands. Merlin laid a hand on his back and rubbed in gentle circles. “It’s ok, Leon, honest. If you wish to talk I will listen.”

The knight heaved a deep, weary sigh. “When Cenred’s men found our patrol,” he mumbled into his hands, “I was the only survivor. Again, when the immortal army attacked. Again, when we fought against the dragon. Every time-“ he sucked in a shuddering breath- “It’s just me.”

“It’s not your fault.” Merlin whispered. “It is not wrong to live.”

He shook his head and laughed bitterly. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You must think me weak.”

“No.” Merlin said earnestly. “You are the furthest thing from that. I- I know what it’s like, to suffer such dreams.” He put a hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “It does not make you weak, in fact it takes strength to face them and carry on. You are a brave and noble knight, Sir Leon, and this doesn’t change that.”

“Thank you Merlin,” Leon said dully. “But if the others knew they would think differently.”

Merlin looked over at the pile of sleeping bodies with the deepest fondness.

“Would they?” he countered. “You have all known so many horrors. If you were to speak openly with them I am sure they would understand. Perhaps they do not suffer so differently themselves.”

“Maybe…” Leon bit his lip pensively. He looked exhausted.

“But we don’t have to worry about that tonight.” Merlin interrupted his brooding, clapping him on the shoulder cheerfully. “Do you want to try and sleep, we could wake someone else?” he offered.

Leon shook his head. “I don’t think I can,” he confessed.

Merlin smiled. “Then I will stay on watch with you and keep you company. We could play cards or something?”

Leon blinked. “You have cards?”

Merlin grinned and gestured with his hands “I can make cards.” he said significantly.

“Oh,” Leon said, and Merlin thought the wonder in his eyes will never get old. He smiled. “All right then.”

As Merlin went to work the spell, Leon caught his arm. “Thank you for being such a good friend, Merlin,”

Merlin turned to gaze affectionately at him.

“Always.” he promised.

**Author's Note:**

> They will be best friends for all eternity and everything will be FINE ;-;  
> Comments and kudos appreciated <3
> 
> Come hang out on [tumblr](https://donttouchtheneednoggle.tumblr.com/)!


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